Experimenting Berlin round 5

September 5

trying to rest in the city: FAIL AGAIN.

and go back to everyday life in France, maybe TdV will try to find me there himself. Whatever: Bis bald Thomas, bis bald Berlin, bis bald trying to fail.

and as goodbye…I copy here the lyrics of a song that fits so well with my Berliner mood, to let a bit of poetry hanging around all that experience, (and which is already my new everyday hymn) and that will follow me then.

« To the center of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you,

To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sink, searching for you,

I was moving through the silence without motion, waiting for you,

In a room with a window in a corner I found Truth.

TO THE CENTER OF THE CITY IN THE NIGHT, WAITING FOR YOU (bis) »

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September 4

Been experimenting a new way of organising my time on this fourth day in Berlin. Still trying to follow my commandments and missions, the topic of Time, which was not yet related to this quest, suddenly broke through this journey. I’ve been realising today, that the concept of trying and failing was not only related to the city and its people and space, but that TIME was such an important mean into it.

On this very day I tried things I’d already been trying the days before, or even the former times I was there also with Mathilde, trying also new timings.

Practically//

I tried to fuck a citizen at 8.43 a.m.: seemed to be quite OK/BUT/ FAIL AGAIN

I tried to understand the way Money flows in the city at 6.08 a.m.: Absolutely OK

I tried to make my body fit the city shapes at 10.23 a.m.: Quite OK.

I tried to make my body fit the city weather at 11.01 a.m.: (so difficult) FAIL AGAIN

I tried to meet people at 4.23 a.m.: Absolutely OK

I tried to communicate the whole day: strange how easy it seemed/was. OK //I’m though still wondering if the timing for that experiment -making it last the whole day- was the only thing that made me manage in speaking quite current German and calling or mailing or sms-ing etc. people. I even tried and managed in communicating with a German book! -full, of course, of TdV sentences, maybe it helped a bit.

I tried to meet/find/see Thomas de Vrouw at 22.35 p.m. : quite OK. (Although I wasn’t sure he was himself…I recognized his look, his words, his interests, advises, the look in his eyes, his highness, his charming and cold smile. Whatever, I didn’t dare to ask him: Bist du doch Thomas? As I was so convinced of it, and maybe it would have hurt him)

The strange thing with Thomas is that he disappeared all at once, and when I went to the other part of the Town to follow/find him once again to go on with our conversation, I only found Thomas Ostermeier, but kein De Vrouw. He wasn’t here, and everything was mixed up in my head. Yes, right now I just cannot say who did I meet, to whom did I speak on this Saturday night, and full of doubts and questions, I went to bed at 5.03…but then was it already September 5. Whaou…Time was really all messed up into me as I was running through the city.

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Is Timing a new topic Thomas brought me without saying it, is that what he tried to make me discover, disappearing and reappearing in different moments and places in Berlin that week? Or is it only the consequence of my research that makes Time blast and spread and then burst again into Berlin’s spaces and people?

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Is Time related to FAILURE?

I decided to accept to be failing trying. So I decided not to try on Sunday (as my quest has kind of a Biblical tone, even though the 10 initial commandments turned into 12…I chose this Lord’s day to rest, or maybe only to try to)

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september, 3:

And in the end, failure is coming, fortunately.

It began right in the morning when I took the Ubahn to go to my friend Katrijn, where I had forgotten my camera, the day before. (Yes, in a way, I had forgotten to mention it, but failure had already started on the first afternoon, but loosing of forgetting things is not what I absolutely consider as failure, this is just everyday life, as we never swim in the same river, etc.)

And then, I was arrested : I had the ticked paid, but trying not not pay in the transport web, I just had not punched that ticket. I tried to convince them that I was fair, and reliable, and only French, so little and a bit naive, and not understanding the german transport web, and etc. and he gave me a paper to show to Jannowitzbrücke station, to see what would happen: FAIL again.

Then I thought about communication and supermarkets. Why not to experiment two commandments at once ?

I went to the Lidl at Oranienplatz, and tried to understand the supermarket of that city: Quite OK. I found quite easily how to buy a Lidl sim card. And then I went to a pub, in order to be immediately connected to the berliner satellite of communication, as to say, to run into COMMUNICATION, and on my way, I run through a man that seemed to be TdV. I asked myself a long time if I would dare to ask him / It would have also mean, to him, that I´d have been forgetting his face, so risky, and shameful / and then, trying to activate my new communication weapon, and failing, and angry, I decided to throw myself. TRY, just Try, just go, allez, take the energy from inside, don´t be ashamed, if you´re afraid that means you have to run into it, yes : -Entschuldigung, bist du nicht Thomas ? – … -Thomas de Vrouw ? nein ? bist du´s nicht ? – Nein, ich bin nicht Thomas. – Ok, tut mir Leid, tschuüuss. : FAIL again.

Back home I thought it was strange, wondered if he had been lying, or testing me, and wondered if I hadn´t been mistaking him with the actor of Head on, Birol Ünel, but whatever, managing to fail again I sent five or six mails to Thomas, looking on facebook to see if he hadn´t published profile´s info, but still not, and then I tried to communicate with people with my new number, that I tried to activate: quite OK.

Then at night, spending time with Pablo and other italian friends, I tried to understand how money flows in the city: quite OK.

I also realized my last and new commandment would be very hard, and I said to myself: tomorrow yeah, I´ll try to rest in that city.

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Second conclusion/ FAIL a bit, first without noticing it, FAIL, try, FAIL, FAIL, try, find something, and FAIL and try again.

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september, 2:
first missions// try to communicate with people : Quite ok /Try to understand the way money flows in the city: quite ok / Try to find TdV : quite ok, but not done yet / Try to make your body fit the city wether : quite ok //

NEW MISSION : try to find the way to rest in that city : not found yet, too much excited

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first day conclusion : but where am I with failure ? doesnt seem to be failing enough, maybe THE failure will be about meeting TdV ? Should I hope to reach this kind of failure so frustrating ? Let´s try again.

[Colyne]

A propos stomachcompany

We are two little french ladies, living in Brussels and Nantes. Since several years, we have developped together some artistic projects, mixed between dance, theatre, performance, video and music works. Together we have funded the Stomac Company/Compagnie des Ventres, a collective project. We try to tell stories by different way about our life, our society, the absurdity of this world, etc. We also tried to be more comic than cynic... Just: doing some experiences about: life/ our life/ be here/ now//in this world/ as a young girl / and/or together.
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