For the second time in Automn 2009, Colyne came here.In Berlin.Alone.By Bus.She really needed to came back, because she had a strong feeling about Thomas de Vrouw’s sentences.
Yes, she had to come here again, alone, and try try try try again in the city…
« Yes, for sure I try, every day here, to find TdV, but it seems he has disappeared.When I decided to take my eurolines ticket, I had this strong sensation, I deeply flt he was in Berlin in this moment, and as I am a bit lost in my life now, I needed his words, his advices, and everything, I really needed that. Because in this moment I’m trying to try, try try, but it seems there always are walls that errict in front of me – Either are they dicks ? Dont know, doesnt matter. Anyway, I m here now. Looking for him, trying to contact him but does his mailbox works? no. No answer, no trace of him. He s he in Brussels ? Dont know. Dont fucking know. So each day I wake up and try. I have so many questions in my mind I want to discuss with him. So I go to different places, try to reintegrate myself in the city another time:
try to make your body fit to the city’s schapes
try not to pay in the Ubahn
try to be a bit sexy
try to fuck with Germans
try to speack German and to understand what they say to me
I say to myself: if I follow TdV instructions, maybe I’ll catch him, or he would come to me.
AND I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY
I really cannot eat saucisses, I manage to be a bit sexy but then so cold, my body yes, it fits to city sometimes, I didn’t met the MVB men in the Ubahn, I found someone who looked like a german, and fucked with him, but he was only a non-speaking-german-Italian, and much too complicated, and I don’t understand what they say at the radio and yes…it seems that it is the same as my life in Nantes: ok I m trying and trying and trying…but what happens then is SO OFTEN FAILURE!
AND I CANNOT FIND TDV
and this morning I missed the flight’
Yes, Colyne is still trying, but what could we think about that? Maybe Thomas de Vrouw is playing with her, and trying to make her find answers on her own. Yes, we could think, for example, TdV is hiding from her. Or that he might be laughing or ignoring her…
But What Colyne is realising right now, is the upper, the biggest, the sum up of all TdV art maybe, art and thinking and blablabla:
TRY TRY TRY AND FAIL, OVERALL TRY TO FAIL AGAIN